last entry- Shohini

I'm in the plane right now, writing a farewell to Malawi. Although we've been here for only 5 weeks, the familiarity and the comfort of this place (mixed with raw sadness) makes it seem like we've actually been here for 5 months. I have gotten so used to "hello...how are you?" and waiting for a response and probably a conversation, even if you or the other person is in a hurry. In India or the states, no one has the time or cares enough to stop and have a conversation (at least not in the way Malawians...and this includes all of them...do). The warm and invitingness of people, putting one hand under the other giving respect, people always willing to help (with the rare exceptions), these are things I will miss. Not only that but the sheer number of people we've met, their stories, the way they made us laugh, the interesting things they told us, the things we learned from their experience, in these past 5 weeks makes me want to stay and meet more people. Lois and the wonderful kindness and humility of her personality. Memory and Akone and their smiles and sadness of leaving despite not knowing us. Vicki and her guidance. Rosemany and her warmth. I can keep going. I guess it's leaving a familiar place that helped us in venturing out and meeting people the way we did. I will miss the babies at Crisis Nursery who are so beautiful and should have the potential to lead healthy lives but might not be able to reach their peak due to lack of care. The orphans and Michingyi, always running around, getting a life more fulfilling than many of the children of Malawi. Vicki is right...through what we have learned, we have to be the ambassadors of the children of Malawi, their mothers. Having learned so much from Malawi and its people (not only academically but also personally), it is only right that we remember and do something for Malawi, even if it starts with just awareness.
So what have I actually learned? Let's start with academics. I've learned so much about Malawi itself. About its economy, the poverty, the focus on HIV/AIDS leading to unforeseen population boom, the orphans, the politics (especially the success of the elections this year), the geography, a little bit of its history, its education system and especially the culture and its struggle to keep a balance between development and retaining its culture. "It takes a village to raise a child." I have been able to see a first-hand experience of the importance of understanding a culture for sustainable development to occur. However this has also led me to question the best method for development. It is important to empower the people; not just come in, do a project and leave. But what is the best way? Education? That leads to questions of what is culturally relevant/appropriate and when it's important to override "culture". Agricultural subsidies? That leads to questions of dependence and lack of empowerment of the people to be able to self-sustain. Economic support? That leads to questions of what kind is best...one time, monthly, cash-transfer, micro-credit. All of these approaches have been successful in their own respect, but they've also shown shortfalls. Yet one can't use all approaches since broad, general attempts of development have proven to be less successful. Hopefully in the next 2-3years, with more education and experience, I will figure out what direction I want to take with development.
This trip has taught me a lot about myself and who I want and don't want to be. Part of it has come through Malawi in teaching me more kindness and caring attitude and giving respect. The list goes on. But a lot of what I've learned about myself has come because of my friends' awareness. Spending 5 weeks in a small room has been a very interesting experience.
Basically all in all, this trip has been fun, educational and a great experience worth more than the time, effort and fight that we had to go through to go to Malawi. And even though when I had started this trip I never though I would grow such an attachment with Malawi, but now having left it, I felt an immense sadness that made me realize that someday I will have to come back to this place.