Shohini 2

It's just 10pm here and Kim is deep asleep and Becca is in her bed about to fall asleep. Usually around this time, I'd be just getting into get trying to go to sleep which wouldn't be too hard after taking care of babies entire day; doing everything from feeding to cleaning to burping to running after them. Who knew babies were such a tiresome affair. A couple days ago I held a small little baby that was one month old and it was the most adorable thing although I just continuously worried that I would let its neck drop and accidentally snap its neck. (That didn't happen). I've actually become quite adept at handling multiple babies at the same time while making good use of my hips although all this baby handling has convinced me that having a baby is definitely far FAR away if it's ever going to happen. I don't think I can handle the smell of baby poo for two years or never having my clothes clean. But it's really cute with the kids once you ignore the crying and tantrums and grossness. One of the babies called Rachel is quite a grouchy one but I think I've grown on her and so has she on me. Her smile is precious especially after her very serious frowning and brow burrowing. Just being around the babies and the caregivers has just made me more aware of things that I might've read but never really get ingrained till one encounters it in real life. For example, today the nurses might've not fed a couple of the babies and not played with them while some of the children kept sitting in their own excrement. But the entire time, I was thinking that this was probably a much MUCH better treatment that they would've gotten. One of the kids was going to buried alive with his dead mother since the entire village blamed him for the death. Listening to the stories of these children and then going and talking to the people in NGOs who try to make live better just leave me feeling more distraught since there are so many things to think about. One may want to help OVC (orphans and vulnerable children) but how do you go about it? If you give money, they might use it for phones instead of using for their necessary food. If you start fair trade initiatives, they may be making money but they can't use it to pay for the roof over their heads due to certain restraints. But at the same time, all these different NGOs are impacting the individuals of this country and being able to gain first hand experience and resource is something that I have realized in the past and am realizing once again, is absolutely necessary in understanding all these things that we learn. Because it's all well and good to sit in a classroom and learn about the benefits of cash transfer and how it's working but to actually hear it from people who implement it on the daily and learning the successes and difficulties of it first hand is something that theories of a classroom can't teach.